Five cards, one per page, with a cut border. Print them and put each one where you would actually need it: the glovebox, the kitchen drawer, the first aid box, inside a cupboard door. Each card gives what to do first in a black box, four numbered steps, a box of what not to do, and the number to call. The bat in the bedroom. An animal in the road. A tick attached. Bear, moose, and which rule applies. The dog ate something.

Nobody opens a 79-page guide during the ten seconds that matter.